Children invent rules for made-up games because rules make play work, and following them builds self-regulation, the skill of steering your own behavior. Psychologist Lev Vygotsky argued that rule-based play teaches children to put the rules ahead of their impulses. A study of 454 young children found that better performance in role play went along with higher self-regulation.
Rules Are the Engine of Make-Believe
Think back to a game you invented as a kid. Maybe the floor was lava, or the sofa was a pirate ship with strict boarding procedures. Chances are you also had rules, and you probably defended them fiercely. That is not pickiness. It is how pretend worlds hold together.
A Stanford Bing Nursery School teacher describes the idea in an article on making rules and developing self-regulation. She notes that Vygotsky argued games with rules build self-regulation because following the rules comes to override a child’s immediate wishes. It is a practitioner’s reflection rather than a formal study, but it nicely captures a long-standing theory.
Choosing the Rule Over the Impulse
Picture a child who really wants to grab the ball, yet the invented rule says it is someone else’s turn. Holding back takes effort, and Vygotsky described the inner conflict as demanding a great deal of willpower.
Play makes that practice feel fun instead of forced. Because the child helped create the rules, following them feels like part of the game rather than an order from an adult. That is a powerful way to rehearse patience and impulse control without anyone calling it a lesson.
What 454 Children Reveal About Play and Self-Regulation
A 2023 study in Frontiers in Psychology, Pretend Play as the Space for Development of Self-Regulation, looked at 454 children aged about 2 to 7 in seven daycare centers in Vilnius, Lithuania. Teachers rated the children’s play and self-regulation using a checklist.
The two were significantly related, mostly at a moderate strength. The researchers summarized it as the better a child performs an assumed role in play, the higher the self-regulation. Staying consistently in the role had the strongest link. Because teachers collected the data and the design shows association, not cause, the authors cautioned against broad generalization.
Children Often Police Others Before Themselves
Anyone who has watched kids play knows the drill: someone shouts that you cannot do that, it is against the rules. The Bing Nursery author observes that children often notice rule-breaking by others before they notice their own, and they apply rules to peers first.
She treats this as a necessary step toward self-regulation. The Lithuanian researchers made a related argument, proposing that in role play children regulate the behavior of others in ways that help them regulate their own. Arguing about the rules, in other words, is part of the learning.
Ways to Bring Back the Joy of Invented Rules
Whether you are a parent, a teacher, or a nostalgic grown-up, try these:
- Play a child’s made-up game. Ask for the rules and follow them seriously.
- Let kids settle disputes. Asking them to clarify the rules works better than simply dictating answers, according to the Bing author.
- Write down a childhood game. Recording the rules you once invented can be a fun memory exercise.
- Invent a game as an adult. Making up rules with friends is a playful workout for creativity.
Keep the Inner Rule-Maker Alive
Invented games are more than childish fun. They are a small laboratory for self-control, fairness, and cooperation, built by the players themselves. If your brain still loves to make up a rule or two, that is a sign of a playful mind at work.
Frequently Asked Questions About Childhood Games and Rules
Is it normal for children to make up elaborate rules?
Yes. Rules help pretend play hold together, and children often defend them with great seriousness.
Does inventing rules improve self-control?
Research shows that better play performance goes along with higher self-regulation in young children. The studies show a link, not proof that play causes the improvement.
Should adults step in when children argue about rules?
One early childhood educator suggests asking children to clarify the rules together instead of dictating answers. That approach supports autonomy and perspective-taking.